Once upon a time I painted while youngest was a toddler sometimes more then one a day. Now what I had been waking up often 3am eager before sunrise to do passing practice of street hockey ball pn rollerblades I'm unable to..without activated insurance at the moment no medical attention sought so it will mend but if I’ll skate no idea. But I do believe one should do a passion in life. Finding out a burden is passed when someone dies. Papers. Material crap has mw question what is the point of living if what it comes to is what I'm doing for my roomy. Probate. Sorting shredded papers. So let's art it up see if my spirit is up and up once more. These people who spy have made life also not as desirable to exist with meaning but I'm hockey. We always get back up.
Update….Fall 2025 Two months off of my rollerblades skates is all I could hold out for. Am i in pain. Absolutelty at times but its what fuels my soul. Middle kid names it an obsession but plenty of adults exercise if not pay to be amongst others while doing workout. Getting into skates i feel I can truly breathe….I don’t need much to make me happy…not miserable singke able yo go where and when I want no permission asked…paved surface..street hockey ball…and a twig. Not fancy cars. The Hummer Truck ia no longer important…my childrens father passing I’ve learned the burden of a material life….what they say is a value to yiur end. Numbers. Not deeds you did or lives impacted but things…I just wanna raise my kids….my Ferris kid. I want her to be happy pursue a career she. An be passionate about not whats a high earner to replace her dads level of income just to be in a house we built 2019…30 year mortgage..Happy…whooping at life in glee as I have just with a simple hockey ball…so. Find what sets your soul on fire even if its cut shorter by a death because last year I truly lived…all because of a death and a divorce…
Wasn't happy with matte on parts of an old painting that represented motherhood once side palm stand to look like my kiddos babe feet in prints. Happy messy accident blotches job had me spray paint black with color shift paint and look at the thick spots. That will be lovely if it dries right.
Have gald orphans to keep in their house. From Rags to Ragnorak Art Studio. Get ready. I'm. Going back to who I was before hockey to give back to my kids then when I can go back to travels let's just say I have cancer awareness games I'd like to see souvenir lamps battery candles honor such fighters to Cancer. I'm kicking you in the teeth. You took their dad and there's no monetary compensation from .insurance or retirement that could undo the load of bearing this all alone. I'd rather have him back.
I am always hockey girl up. It means and represents yes having lows thrawted by life tears thrawted heaves our throats with sobs and disheveled for awhile beings but we get back up. I've had bone contusion most likely on my ankle area no help getting their dads stuff from two storage units. One not finding a key just had staff open it now that the larger unit I've emptied it out a week ago to do the estate inventory properly I need all the time I'm granted. A county appointed lawyer for conservancy is pushing for things before my according to paperwork (us trying to save money attempting probate solo) reads 1-10-25 filing so 91 days from that is not just yet. We are grieving lost breadwinner. Throw in Shoveling with an injured foot this last week with warm up it took some time for me to stop a pipe leak in our old house. I take a evening nap because I stay up all night most days trying to get everything done. One to 4 hours is what I get daily for sleep.My daughter just missed the financial aid deadline yesterday for college me putting these material pushed importance of death not a life for her to begin as a young adult college as her father wanted….I saw at an early age her sculpting and knew….so my focus will be to fight to keep us here. Together honor her father with his name….find ways to create income….work as a family…..HRFish Artisan Child Fund was a Doing Business As DBA registered yesterday. Cancer took him away and with her creative ways, our need to stoke funds for we are hiring a lawyer now….my children will always be OK if not for being together as I hear every day them able to laugh now majority of time in their dads room…they have great love between them and in their life and if they shall be physically parted those who sought to harm will never win for my children in here ❤️ have great love for each other.My slogan for wooden jerseys I will embrace doing my multi media bling thing is to have a heart on the sleeve ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’ HRFish I bow my head to you and may we live on in our children and they continue on here in the home we built for them. So prepare for a mother to fight find funds and supporters for his greatest love and joy that Artisan daughter who always sculpted gifts to him for those big holidays. For her it came from the heart more then a store bought gift. So let's see what we can create from a tragedy. Cancer. Going to kick you in the teeth Cancer if we can pull off staying here as a family. Going to take back our life you stole Cancer. Do you hear me Cancer. If I’m not solo receiving help by my children and/or others then you have a battle on your hands. Cancer. So many have known You-Cancer-had or loss to Cancer then think together the power of unity. Long live where ever you are HRFish as my ending speech trimmed down from 26 minutes letting others know it's ending before the beginning like you said you often lived your life backwards. As I ended my speech. May we die as if we had lived.
Do not play with a person’s head for that which sits on top of it can be shaved off and regrown but finding flaws in society that there are more then a flock of folks who find this acceptable to earn bucks or joke to out do one another wooing one nieve as I was effects can at times not be undone…your games. The trust issues for all our planets constitutes questioning internally if this person in front of me is good.
Who do you think you are to affect the entirety of society by this girl who once stopped talking in my childhood not restarting till I was 5. I believed in such youthful innocence that I was put here on this earth as an angel to do good. I’m going to work on believing there is still decency in this world try to become unjaded opening up my heart dismissing my head and belief in the general hope everyone has good in them. Not easy twice shy once burned….just me vs how many watchers of me and I’m not talking subscribers or viewers to www.hockeygirlup.com but a group who do not have my best interest at heart but played ever so well with it.
I’m calling you out -taking the gloves off so no more victims if I may occur from, for and by you. Hockey Girl Up. I may cry but I always get back up. Hockey Girl always gets back up.
You can imagine when all i wanna see is the game played knoq some chomp for fights realize to have my happy zone of, in and fir hockey I have to build my own arena find players with my philosophy not just skills but good heart —-how it seems an infeasible goal darnnit not to mention the cost of a dream. Humbug.
Offset cost of nom workinf tvs at Padnos to recycle proper way. No ditch tv toss for me.
Two plasic ports one for each kidney in his back for kidneys made it difficult to rest well….i heard him moan kept a heat pad on his belly until.he needed to go to his teaching job more then I cared but he kept.it up for them The compression socks had several styles with varying pressure grades. Just one full day my good intentions were of use for he died less then two days.He deserved better then that and I hope I can not him down. .Worked all his life and the children were his world.
Because I just wanna go practice passing a street hockey ball in my rollerblades..25 miles to one paved trail. I just can't wait to get up and pass not gas but a street hockey ball.
I donated plasma 85 times to help my dad continue on his dog obsession. What's in your heart is in your heart. I love hockey
He was a pretty good dad, zipper bags got a few cuss words at the end him wanting to keep status quo lunches prepped, morning drop offs-me on own journey spreading my fathers ashes for a fledge of a book company.Also, giving us space to coparent for the term of absence makes the heart grow fonder. For indeed my 5 weeks away settling a grown kid leaving tge nest to settle Texan down he said he missed me and I would always have a place there in our once married home. I also think he enjoyed the load after our divorce being a single dad sole physical custody but now he's gone so is it a pipe dream- bipartisan hockey and MJ's Pummeling Hammers. Ideology that in an arena where it's cheers not jeers for all who play when so many in attendance hopefor fights. If I have my way. True Ref in life called life gave me a timeout missing Corpus Christi games my Christmas gift to myself was to be warm and visit my griwn child but roomies dealth detoured it. True. Briefly but I believed in my purpose with my heart and when you got this girls heart a d treat it well which watching games or solo streetball passing practice does to my soul then I'm not going to let you go. So. Time out. Three games missed last weekend out of state 2 were Indy Fuel and afyer game skate with Wheeling Nailers and Texas games this month. One does not have to know every days unfolding. Sometimes we just gotta get out of bed put one foot in front of the other. Steady goes the ship when winds die down. Steady she the ship goes.
Divorce was finalized August 2023 but equity division so as not to force sa home sale of house we built for them retirement account and firm who fights to not easily roll over or benefits took 5 months. So i bought a phone no man could cancel out, computer to try a blog ways. I might be setteled diwn till the kids settle in but the road knows me, it calls my name now there are two sets of daughters with fathers ashes.
They were born from two strong willed parents…. That they were and together we will remain
It will grow back as has spotson my scalp braided just before a few pets euthanasia. I honor their life and after passing it's snipped off and shave down strips not uncommon. Always grows back. Even hockey girls hair always get back up. Eventually
Taking part of my power back with bipartisan idea unpleasantness of some Chirpers I stopped attending games last winter but whose to keep me away from true love but myself.
Let’s just say I wake up all too often just 4 hours sleep wanting to practice street hockey ball whatever it is I have a ball with.
So best way to remember him in his many imperfections is for me to act 15 not 51. Mom. I love you in the here and for now now is as ever more knowing how short of time it is we have. Look at your kid being a kid.
At least twice in the few day stay in California my mascot a hummingbird showed up. Keep going. Believing in your dreams knowing some find your trekking about inspirational bad ass mid life redo and repair so many parts of a heart.
No time before Friday's game Bloomington Bisons hosting Indy Fuel wrapping so many loose ends that allows roommate tired very understanding with cancer to have less on his plate with me prepping meals for our children to eat, stuff brought off porches now snow has presented itself etc. Balance between my book projects and parent has me miss my favorite part of hockey games-warm ups- but so goes the ways of parenting and childrening our parents remains….
In my best hopes to do my road life is to afford on my tailgate tail coat hitting the metal to the pedal is my family to join me at times so their father in retirement age can do what is long strewn to be retirement bliss. Travel. Not sure if I can be successful fast enough to afford that for him Treating him to lifestyle nor if the cancer will out run the time only the fates know is when it is a time or not for beginnings and endings.
Do they not only bake us in the oven dubbed a womb but get scolded, broiled sometimes torn to raw meat by the offspring. And yet they keep trucking on with a heart built like a truck. Moms. Anyway. We have differences in political preferences but we are from the same cloth, same DNA and same hurt knowing all too well highs of parenthood also even keels out with some rather low below the girdle and belt our kiddos can dish out. Thanks pubrerty Geez. Almost sounds like meal time. In my yeti lunch cooler I have veggies mostly to snack while driving on this weekend new to me Illinois team and arena. Mess patrol in mess hall Cruiser.
Long before I saw the Heartlanders an Iowa sticker was placed on my driver side mirror for farming was such an engrained source to my pa…just seems I associate farming in particular to that state. So yes. I placed my father there multiple times from my first trip out in March out West seeing Utah Grizzlies then West Coast hockey to public events Heartlanders and it holds a place near my heart much as Wheeling West Virginia.
Yes. I did put my father here by a tree work sometimes first then play.
What a find. I’m trying to work educational angles into these journeys but I shall not complain going loopity loop either as I return my father to the earth rotating life and death cycle.